I can’t cook. I use a smoke alarm as a timer.
--Carol Siskind
My family said its okay that I never cook--they don't like anything I fix anyway.
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
The last time I cooked this, hardly anyone got sick.
I may not be the world's greatest cook, but I think you'll enjoy my cornflakes.
Nothing spoils a meal like having to make it yourself.
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