Monday, November 21, 2011

"More Truth than Poetry" by Norma Shupe Clarkson, Part 3

Norma Shupe Clarkson Crandell wrote this humorous story of her life for a 1974 Clarkson Family Reunion.  The poor grammar is all a fake, she had lovely grammar and spelling.

Well, on with the story.  The people here in Mesa didn't expect to see us till we got here and most of the folks we didn't know looked like stangers.  One of our neighbors is near deaths door.  I do hope she gets through it alright.
I think we will stay here till we move or go somers else.  Some of the ground here is so hard you can't even raise an umbrella on it, but Grandpa and Grandma Shupe have a fine crop of potatoes, some the size of a hen egg, some the size of marbles and then lots of little bitsy ones.  Grandpa has some nice gubers too.  That's peanuts.
We always seem to raise a good crop of corn.  I think it will make about 4 gallons to the acre this year.  While we lived in New Mexico some worms got into our corn, but we just fished 'em out and drank it anyway.
We're about out of jelly now so quess we'll have to go on to Phoenix and get some of that traffic jam I hear them talkin' about.
We're learnin' about all this city stuff now.  We use shankses ponies to go most places, but last week I was feelin' quite  piert so I cranked up our Ford and drove it right down through the middle of town.  I sure wisht I hadn't when a cop on a motorcycle came whistling' up behind me and motioned me over to the curb right there by the First Ward Chapel.  I sat there with my heart in my throat waiting for him to come and tell me what I had done wrong.  I sure hadn't meant to break any of their city laws and ordinances.  It seemed most an hour when I see the funeral car movin' along and that cop never did come back so I just went on about my business.
Well now, I want to describe our house to you.  We live at 310 East First Street and have everything real modern.  We have a kitchen, a front room and 3 bedrooms, mind you.  There's another little room we didn't find till last week.  It has a thing in it that looks like what we used to water our horses in, only it's fancier.  Then there's another deal about 3 feet high with hot and cold water.  It ain't much good 'cause it has a hole in the bottom.  Then there's another thing over in the corner that you can put one foot in and wash it then move a lever and get clean water for the other foot.  It did have two lids on it till I took the solid one off, as I needed a board to roll out my pie crust on.  The other lid has a hole in it so we used it to frame Grandad's picture.  Everybody says it looks like he's settin' right there.
Aw shucks, I mustn't forget to write you the most important thing of all.  Joe and me were looking through the Monkey Ward's Wish Book and saw a picture of some of the cutest younguns; so we got to talkin' and decided we needed two more kids to make our family complete, so I just took my pencil in hand and made out the order right then.  Number 1 a baby girl, description--sweet and tiny and then, of course, the price.  Number 2. a baby boy- description- healthy, husky and happy, then the price.  I added up the total, "Yes, by skimping we can make it."  Well, do you know we got word the other day that we can expect the baby girl anyday now and I might add, we can hardly wait.  The letter did say there would be a delay in filling our order for a boy as the kind specified is out of stock at the present time because of a shortage of the special materials needed, yo know World War II shortages.  I'm sure he'll be worth waiting for.  
We already have their names picked out, do hope you like them.  They are Lynette Cecelia for a darling girl and Steven Gale for a wonderful boy. 
Well, I must close for now, feed the chickens and fetch in the eggs to go with our flapjacks in the morning.
If you have trouble readin' my writin' I'd advise you to make a copy and read your own.  With best regards, 
P.S. We would have sent you the money we owe you, but I already had this letter sealed before I thought about it.  We mailed Grandad's overcoat, Joe borrowed, but I cut the buttons off so it wouldn't weigh so much as postage is high.  You'll find them in the left side of the right hand pocket.
             So long for now and goodbye
(All foolishness aside this does have a lot of truth in it.  In fact more truth than poetry.) 

The end

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